A Love letter to men who are not men
In feminism, and even in queer struggles, there are people who are constantly called to order and ostracized: people who are perceived as men, according to a stereotypical binary grid that we still have trouble breaking away from, people who are amab (assigned male at birth) and who pay a high price for it.
Feminism that is still attached to genitals is not feminism. A queer community that rejects some of its members is not a community.
Anyone breaking free from cis-hetero normativity, with a political stance, with a politicized existence, is queer. Queer is a political identity. And what is more political than continually facing the violence that comes with not adhering to the cis-hetero binarity, breaking free from it but still continuing to be seen as someone you are not?
I love you because your existence is political. Your gender identities and your gender expressions are worlds apart from what is expected of you. I love you because you are facing mountains: refuting all innate privileges in a cis-hetero, patriarchal and capitalist world, fighting to not reproduce the socialization you have suffered for years, and from which you still suffer today. I love you because you question the very foundations of the world as we know it. I love you because you are always there, but never validated. I love you because you are creating your own space, since no one else seems to want to give you a seat at their table.
Our responsibility is to include you. How can we claim to be queer, feminist, revolutionary and rebellious if the mere idea of including you in our circles seems impossible? How do we deconstruct the notions of gender fabricated and perpetuated by our enemies if we continue to perceive and analyze gender in the same exact same way?
I love you because you opened me up to queer love, to the unknown in what I thought I knew. I love you because you opened my eyes and my heart to queerness. I love you because it is with you that I experienced my little personal revolution. I love you because you’re the ones who embraced my tears and my anguish into your arms. I love you because the revolution will happen with you.
Feminism is not in its infancy any more. The definition of a movement is that it moves. Feminism has always questioned itself, put its ideas into perspective and included those who were ignored in the past. Today our feminism must be anti-racist, anti-fascist, queer, revolutionary, non-ableist, anarchist, anti-prison, restorative and rumbling. Legitimate violence is ours, let’s destroy what is trying to control us.
I love you because you will fight alongside us, in our ranks. I love you because it is difficult to love you. Because sometimes I too catch myself finding a resemblance to the enemy in you. I love you because you do not find me similar to the enemy, despite my appearance, which is also associated with something binary.
I love you because our struggle has a thousand faces, and you silently wear those of others until you are enabled to show yours.
Taking care of ourselves, our communities, our members, is at the center of our lives, and at the center of our struggle, it fuels and will continue to fuel our strength.
And I love you.